What To Do When Your Child No Longer Believes In Santa

It happens to all of us, whether we want it to or not, we grow up and so do our children. The day will come when they lose that wide-eyed wonder about Christmas and Santa Claus. It seems like kids are outgrowing him younger every year.

So what do you do when a child asks the dreaded question, "Is there really a Santa Claus?" While you don't want to lie to your children, they may not be ready to let go of that part of childhood.

One approach is to just tell them the truth. Tell them the history of Saint Nick, and the origins of the traditions surrounding him. Read "'Twas The Night Before Christmas" which dates back to 1823 and explain how we get a lot of our modern ideas about Santa Claus from that poem. You can go on to explain that some grownups pretend to be Santa Claus, like an actor on a TV show, to keep the tradition alive as a fun part of the holidays.

Sometimes kids hear the truth about Santa from older siblings, cousins or school friends. They come home and ask about Santa. You have to decide if you're going to tell them the truth or wait awhile. If you continue to let them believe in Santa, they may go back and tell the others that they are wrong, possibly even call them a liar. The kids could counter with the fact that their parents are the ones who are lying.

Another approach is to answer their question about Santa with your own question. Ask them, "Well, what do you think?" Let them go through the process of deciding for themselves if Santa is real or not. Many kids will surprise you with their thought process of figuring out Santa. Children as young as four can figure out that reindeer can't fly.

If a child deals well with the transition to no Santa Claus, you have to decide what to do if there are younger siblings still in the house. You could tell your children about the traditions. You could let the older sibling help play Santa. This way they are still involved in the fun and feel all grown up because they are in on it. The child could get to stay up a little later and help put things in the stockings and leave gifts under the tree from Santa. You might even let them have some of the milk and cookies. Some families even have a letter from Santa, thanking the child for the snack. Let the older sibling write (or type) the letter.

Different children mature at different times, so that question may need to be answered sooner than you think. However, some families have told their children from the beginning about Santa to avoid the "trauma" of finding out the truth. If you've been teaching them about real and fantasy from the beginning, through stories and movies, the transition will be less traumatic, for you and them.